Dismal Dates
by xdfxv
Summary: Valentine's Day is coming, and Geoff and Bridgette have a problem-they bought acommodations for two couples, but when their usual double date buddies have other plans, they need to find another couple, and fast! Who will end up going on a trip with them...and will the two survive enough dismal dates to even go? Secret Santa fic for UltimateWarriorFan4Ever!


**MERRY CHRISTMAS, LUCAS! *pulls a Tammy and throws confetti***

 **Gosh, being your Secret Santa was soooo fun! I had an awesome time writing for your pairings, coming up with a story, and now comes my favorite part-getting to show you your fic! I really hope you enjoy it, my dude: I tried to make every part of this as awesome as it possibly could be for ya c:**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama.**

* * *

As the movie theater let out, there was a general feeling of contentment in the air-the romantic comedy was not a disappointment, having been entertaining despite the cliché plotline. Young couples linked arms as they walked to their cars, middle aged women swooned over the leading actor and his shirtless scene…and a group of four friends made their way to a minivan. Along the way, they were asked by some younger kids to get autographs and take pictures-all four were used to this, however, as they were semi famous for their stints on reality TV. One was even a half of a millionaire…or had been, until taxes got in the way. But that money did him well, as he could go out on nice dates with his girlfriend, including numerous double dates with a couple he had met on the Ridonculous Race series, this date being one of them. Geoff liked Carrie and Devon well enough-an entire season was spent trying to get together, which was a bit like how he and Bridgette had met on the first season of Total Drama. Though this couple had been friends for years, until finally becoming a couple. And they were really cute too! Always having inside jokes, going on trips, and in general just being really sweet with each other. It was nice, you know?

As they got to Carrie's mom's van, Bridgette got into the back seat, Geoff sitting next to her and closing the door. "That movie was great!" she said. "Nice to see a movie not based on a Nicholas Sparks book."

Geoff scoffed amiably. "Hey! Not my fault the dude writes some quality books!" Bridgette laughed and kissed him on the cheek, then turned to Carrie. It was time to pop the question, so to speak.

"So, I hear there's a new pizza place open-the one that chef on the last season of Hell's Kitchen works at."

Carrie gasped. "Oh yeah! But wait-isn't that in San Francisco?"

"Yep!" Geoff grinned. "I'm taking Bridg' there for Valentine's Day! But it's not as much fun with just the two of us-well I mean, we always have fun together, but it's nice to have friends come with too!" He held onto the passenger side seat, leaning forward. "So…you in?"

Devin and Carrie both looked at each other, with looks that were…less than enthusiastic. Already Geoff's smile started to wane.

"Oh, uh, about that…"

"Heh, uh, the thing is…"

Geoff fell back in his seat. "Oh no," he cried. "They hate us!"

"Geoff!" Bridgette frowned at her boyfriend, then turned to the couple, concerned. "Is everything okay? If you guys already have plans-"

"Or if you hate us-ow! Bridgette!"

Bridgette pulled her hand away from Geoff's now pinched arm, glaring at him. "…You can tell us."

Carrie bit her lip, trying to keep her eyes on the road. "W-We could never hate you guys! Honest! But we already have plans for Valentine's Day."

Devin nodded. "Yeah! Actually, that's the day my cousin is getting married!"

Bridgette gasped. "How sweet!"

"I know! His girlfriend since high school, too! Anyway, my family is going to be going, and Carrie's family is coming too!"

"Yeah!" Carrie piped up, looking behind her. "We've always wanted to visit the Philippines-oh!" She quickly went back to her driving, as they very nearly ran a red light.

Geoff finally spoke up again. "Hold on…you guys are going to The Philippines?!"

"For two weeks!" Devin replied. "So, uh…we may not be able to make it to double dates for a while."

As Geoff opened his mouth to protest, Bridgette covered it. "That's totally fine, you two! We can find other people to go with!"

"Mhph mpmh?" Geoff tried to ask.

"Yes," she affirmed. "We can."

Carrie tucked her hair behind her ear, still rather saddened. "I'm sorry, you guys…I know this is a disappointment…and the thing is, going to San Francisco would be so fun normally! But-"

Bridgette shook her head. "No, don't worry about it! Weddings are too important to miss!"

"Mhmph mmh?"

"Yes, Geoff! They are!" Bridgette tried playing it off with a laugh. "Besides, how hard can it be to find someone to double date with?"

* * *

Extremely hard, as it turned out. As they spent the next day trying to look up any and all couples they knew, nothing turned up. LeShawna and Harold were currently at the 'off' in their 'on again, off again' relationship, Tyler and Lindsay had somehow broken up with no previous hint that they had any relationship drama, Beth and her boyfriend Brady were off in Europe for Italy's Fashion Week, Zoey and Mike…well, they didn't really want to know, which meant their options were extremely limited. And to make matters worse, their extra hotel rooms were non-refundable.

"Why would you even book the extra rooms in the first place?!" Bridgette asked, as they drove to dinner.

Geoff shrugged, looking at her. "I thought they would be coming! I didn't know they had plans!"

"Eyes on the road!" Geoff yelped as he quickly swerved away from a parked car, getting honked at in the process. Bridgette rubbed her temples. "Geoff, you book rooms after you know people are for sure coming. Even if they didn't have plans, they still could've said no!"

"I'm sorry, Bridg'! I just thought they would for sure come along, y'know? I mean, they take Zumba together! Obviously they have tons of free time!" Seeing his girlfriend was still upset, he smiled at her. "H-Hey, lighten up, babe! I got it all taken care of! Justin called me up, said he had a hot date and wanted to double up! So they could be a good option!"

Bridgette looked unsure. "I don't know…Justin's been awfully weird after Ridonculous Race…"

"Aw, he's probably just been busy with his new girl!"

They pulled to the parking lot, and he got out and opened the door for Bridgette, smiling at her. "'Sides, this is just a test run! How bad could it be?"

As they opened the door and saw Justin's date, however, they very quickly learned how bad it could be.

"What is she doing here?!" Bridgette asked, maybe a bit too loud, as Heather whipped her head to glare at her.

"Collecting dust," she replied sarcastically, pulling a nail file out and getting to work on her left hand. "Duh, I'm Justin's date."

Justin, meanwhile, waved to Geoff, totally ignoring the girls. "Hey man," he said, his voice causing a nearby waitress to lose concentration and pour coffee into an unlucky customer's lap.

Geoff strode to the table, pulling a chair out for Bridgette, who sat down, rather reluctantly, across from Heather. Geoff sat himself down and started looking through the menu. "So," he said, not liking awkward silences. "You and Heather, huh? How'd that happen?"

"Hm?" Justin looked up. "Oh, sorry, just happened to see my reflection in this spoon." He held up the spoon like a mirror, inspecting himself. "Mhm, even distorted in a conclave, I still look good."

" _Concave_ , ugh!"

Remembering he had been asked a question, and ignoring Heather, he answered, "Well, Heather got dumped by Alejandro-"

"Excuse you?! I broke up with him!"

"-and, you know, I'm a model and member of a boyband, so knowing I would make the perfect shoulder to cry on, she practically fell into my arms-hey!"

Justin made a defensive pose as Heather grabbed the water glass off her table, ready to throw its contents on him. "I got my hair done for that photo shoot tomorrow! And this suit is Ralph Lauren! Ralph! Lauren!"

"And you wouldn't know that had I not bought it for you!" She jabbed a finger into his chest. "But just so we're clear? Make me out to be some damsel in distress again and I will make sure that your hair and suit are drenched!"

"Fine, fine, whatever! Gee!" Heather sat her glass down and Justin rubbed the spot where she had poked him. "Why are your nails filed into claws anyway…?!"

Bridgette frowned at Geoff, who looked at her apologetically. "I didn't know that he would bring Heather," he whispered. "I thought he would bring someone less, like, awful."

"Hey, like, Brian Wilson? Like, I can totally, like, hear you." Heather glared at the two, sighing. "Look, Justin, can we just tell them why they're here now? Before you scare them away?"

"Before _I_ scare them-ugh, fine." The male model smiled at the other couple, the smile he always used when negotiating his salary. "Listen. Times have been…hard on us, fame-wise. Not being veterans in Ridonculous Race really hurt our status as reality TV stars. I mean, I'm still a model, Heather is still popular…but with two new seasons since All Stars, others are quickly taking our place."

"So here's our proposition," Heather said. "We go on trips or dates or whatever you two do, and we split the paparazzi. Geoff is a millionaire-or, half a millionaire since you probably did the stupid thing and split the money with Generic Surfer Number Two."

"Hey, you leave my bro Brody out of this!"

"Whatever. You won, you have fame and cash, and you probably have people following you around with cameras all the time! Speaking of…" Heather looked around the restaurant. "Where are the paparazzi anyway?! We've been here for, like, an hour!"

Geoff laughed. "Oh, uh, about that…ya see, I kinda, sorta…"

Bridgette smiled at the two. "Both Geoff and I have restraining orders against the press."

Justin and Heather stared at the two, mouths open in shock. "…what?" Justin asked.

Geoff smiled, putting an arm around his girlfriend. "Yep! After the way I acted in Action, Bridg' got, like, real concerned about my fame addiction. So we both made sure to keep the press away, and we have never been closer!" He kissed her cheek, and she laughed.

"We haven't had any press since the Aftermaths ended," Bridgette added. "So that means no paparazzi showed up here tonight."

" _Urgh_!" Heather stood up from her seat, glaring at the two. "I should've known you surfer freaks were going to be useless! Come on, Justin!" She stormed out of the restaurant, slamming the door open in her wake.

Justin shook his head. "Sure knows how to throw a tantrum, doesn't she?"

"Oh yeah," Geoff said drily. "She's a keeper."

"Ah, you think so, too? I was saying that-"

" _ **JUSTIN**_!"

The model jumped. "C-Coming!" He scurried out, careful to not bump into anything and ruin his suit. As he left, Geoff made a whipping noise, causing Bridgette to push his arm.

"Don't be mean," she said, laughing anyway.

Geoff shrugged, taking Heather's old seat and looking through his menu. "Come on, let's at least enjoy dinner," he said.

Bridgette nodded, picking her menu up as well. "Well, honestly, I wouldn't want them going on the trip with us," she said. Geoff nodded.

"Yeah, no bad vibes on Valentine's! 'Sides, I already have another couple worth trying!"

"…you do?"

"Aw, c'mon, babe, sound a little more excited! These two are so in love, you'll feel it! They would be so much fun in San Fran!"

"Well…if you say so…"

* * *

Bridgette sure felt something, seeing the couple, but she wasn't sure it was love.  
Of course, she had seen Crimson and Ennui on Ridonculous Race, and they were entertaining to watch, to be sure! But meeting them up close, seeing those vacant stares, the pale makeup and color choices only a Japanese fashionista could love…  
Yeah. These two were creepy.

"Hey, dudes! What's up?!" Geoff greeted enthusiastically. The Goths just stared at him for a while, an awkward silence causing his enthusiasm to falter. Luckily, Ennui spoke up, rather quickly for the two of them.

"Thank you for having that friend of yours watch Loki for us," he said.

"Yeah," Crimson chimed in. "We don't have anyone who can rabbit sit, so, it's like…whatever."

Bridgette smiled nervously, not really caring for the couple's…unique turn of phrase.

Geoff chuckled. "Well, DJ does have a way with animals…"

"I see," Ennui said. "He has my pity."

"Uh, yeah, okay!" Eager to get this date over with, Geoff asked, "So, uh, Crimson! You said you had an idea of where to go for this date?"

"Ennui and I have never, 'double dated'," she said, using air quotes. "So, we don't, like, really know what couples do. Besides, today is special, or whatever."

"Oh yeah," Ennui said. "Our anniversary. What a pleasant surprise."

"Oh, wow! Congratulations, you guys!" Bridgette smiled at them, but the only response she received being the usual stares, she stopped smiling.

"…yeah. Anyway, we view anniversaries as, like, a social construct, or whatever, so we don't celebrate them much. Except for one thing…" Crimson paused, looking at her boyfriend. "That wouldn't be considered a 'double date' idea, would it?"

Ennui looked to the perkier couple, who looked anything but perky at the moment, then back to Crimson. "I hear couples do this type of thing all the time from my uncle," he said. "It could work."

Geoff laughed nervously. "Uhh...g-great, dudes! So uh…what is this tradition?"

"Look for yourself," Ennui replied. "We're standing right next to it."

Geoff and Bridgette looked up, seeing the cute little pink sign above them. "Aww, ice cream! How cute!"

"Uh, wrong sign," Crimson said. The two then looked to the left, to the black sign with red writing that looked like dripping blood.  
"A _TATTOO PARLOR_?!" Geoff looked at the Goth duo, mortified. "You guys get tatts every anniversary?!"

"Yeah," Crimson said. "What, do people not do that on double dates?"

"They do it, yeah, totally. That is, if they're **drunk in Vegas**!"

"Ah, what a coincidence," Ennui observed. "My uncle owns a tattoo parlor in Vegas."

Geoff shuddered. "Okay, as far as I'm concerned, this double date is, like-"

"Gonna be great!" Bridgette grabbed Geoff's shirt, keeping him anchored as the Goths entered the store. Geoff stared at his girlfriend, wide eyed.

"B-B-Bridg'! We can't go in there! Those two are freaks!"

"Freaks who are going out of their way to accommodate us, even if it's an unconventional way to do so!" Bridgette frowned at him. "Geoff, you have got to learn to be more polite! Or you'll be looking for _three_ people to go to San Francisco with you, got it?"

Geoff sighed. "Fine! I mean, how bad can it be?"

As it turned out, it could be very bad. And it was.

As the two entered the store, they were greeted by heavy metal in some other language blaring from the stereo. Red walls with black shelves covered in red roses and macabre mementos hung on the walls, along with pictures of sample tattoos, all of them looking like the stuff of nightmares. Ennui and Crimson were already seated, Ennui sitting on his chair backwards with his shirt off, exposing skin that actually looked like it didn't belong to a corpse, as a tattoo artist was getting ready to get to work on his back. Crimson looked up at the surfers.

"I'm waiting to get my back done after Ennui, but you two can get yours done now. I made sure to tip well in advance, so it won't hurt."

Geoff blinked. "Uh…what?"

"We felt bad about bringing you here short notice, so the least we could do was pay for your tattoos. Whatever."

"Crimson." Hearing her name, the Goth turned to Ennui, and held his hand.

"Your voice has less pain in it this time," she said.

Geoff glared at Bridgette, who sighed. "I…always wanted a tattoo?" she said, trying to force a smile best she could. Geoff continued to glare.

"You two getting tattoos?!" The two jumped, as a very burly man with a long beard and every inch of exposed skin covered in ink spoke to them.

Bridgette gulped, then nodded. "Uh…I am! Geoff?"

Geoff looked to Bridgette, then the man, then sighed. "I guess…" he said. Slumping his shoulders in defeat, he followed the man while Bridgette took a seat next to Crimson.

Crimson watched as Geoff sat at the chair, giving the tattoo artist his arm. "It's not true what they say, about tattoos hurting a lot the first time," she said.

Bridgette sighed in relief. "Really?"

Crimson nodded as the needle was placed on Geoff's arm. "Yeah. It actually hurts…a lot worse than that."

As Geoff screamed louder than the death metal, Bridgette took her word for it.

* * *

Three hours later, the couple sat in the ice cream parlor, the Goths having left long ago, probably to loiter around a Hot Topic somewhere. They really didn't care where those two went, all the surfer couple cared about was trying to eat away the pain of tattoos.

Bridgette spoke up after a full three minutes of poking at her green tea ice cream. "Well…at least I can cross that off my bucket list?"

"No way!" Geoff looked at the part of Bridgette's midriff that was exposed by her jacket, which also exposed a cloth taped to her hip. "You actually _wanted_ a tattoo?!"

"Well, yeah! Plus, it's pretty cute-a dolphin, and even in teal!"

Geoff smiled weakly. "Your fave color…"

"Mhm! What did you get, exactly?"

"Besides scarred for life?"

Bridgette giggled. "Really, what _did_ you get? I haven't seen it yet!"

Geoff suddenly became very interested in his ice cream. He mumbled something incoherent as he stuffed a spoonful of piña colada into his mouth.

Bridgette cocked her head. "What?"

"I said…I got a z."

"A… _z_? Weird choice, but I guess-"

"I didn't _choose_ it." Geoff sighed, face beet red. "When I, uh, screamed and stuff, the dude made a z and I was like, 'Cool dude! That's my initial!' And he was all, like, not saying anything." He frowned as Bridgette burst into a fit of laughter. "H-Hey! Not funny!"

"I'm sorry! It's just…you went through all that…for a Z!"

Geoff scoffed. "It was a good Z though…" He cleared his throat, deciding it was time to change the subject. "Anyway! I'm guessing they won't be coming to San Fran with us?"

Bridgette sighed. "The Goths seem nice, but I really don't think they would be fans of going to a romantic vacation spot. Why can't it just be the two of us? Even if we spent all that money to accommodate a double date…it obviously isn't working."

"Because we haven't found the right couple yet! Come on, Bridg'! We can do this! In fact, I know someone who-"

"Hold it!" Bridgette put her hand on Geoff's as he was about to pick his phone up. "Every couple you've chosen has been…well, um…"

"Awful?"

"That's a strong word…"

"But you're right. Justin and Heather just wanted publicity, Crimson and Ennui-well, they were, uh…Crimson and Ennui. I don't know many other couples, Bridg'!"

Bridgette smiled. "There was one, on Ridonculous Race? Noah and Emma!"

Geoff went silent. "Uh...I dunno, those two are really…"

"Romantic? Well yeah! That would make Valentine's Day that much sweeter, don't you think?"

"Uh…I guess?"

"Oh come on, Geoff! They seem so nice! I mean, it can't be as bad as the other two, right?"

* * *

For once, Bridgette was actually right. It wasn't as bad as the other two dates. Noah and Emma actually accepted rather excitedly when asked out. They all decided to have a nice date at a boardwalk, just the four of them, and hopefully it would all work out from there. Sure enough, just as they had said they would, Noah and Emma were already at the entrance. Bridgette couldn't help but smile when she saw them; Emma was clinging to Noah's arm, both had huge smiles…it was wonderful! She knew she had a good feeling about these two!

"Hey guys!" Noah said, waving as the surfer couple joined them. "We were about to go in without you."

"Noah! Don't be mean," Emma said. "They still had a good four minutes until being considered unfashionably late. Though even fashionably late is still late. Which is bad."

"Uh…" Geoff laughed nervously. "Hey! Uh, so Emma, you never met Bridgette, huh? Bridgette, Emma! Emma, Bridgette!"

Bridgette extended her hand. "Hi there, so nice to- _eep_!"

Emma gripped Bridgette's hand so hard that the granola girl winced. She could feel her heartbeat as she pulled her hand away. "Th-that's quite the handshake you got there…"

Emma put her hands on her hips. "Heh! All good lawyers need a firm handshake! It exudes confidence and determination."

Noah put his arm around her shoulders. "Isn't she great?" he asked, his eyes getting sparkly. The other couple thought that if this was on TV, that doo-wop love music would be playing.

As Bridgette tried to regain feeling in her hand, Geoff spoke up. "Ha, yeah dude! Say, howsabout we go in and enjoy our day, huh?"

They all agreed, and the four bought tickets and headed in. "Woah, Bridg'! Check it out! Those waves look gnarly!" Geoff pointed to the beach, where waves crashed onto the shore, crystal blue water sparkling in the sunlight…it was a surfer's dream.

"Oh my gosh! We have to-hey, where are you guys going?"

Emma and Noah were walking towards a ride. "Huh?" Noah glanced behind them. "Can't we wait on the beach for a while? The Tunnel of Love is less enjoyable with sand up my-"

"Tunnel of Love?! But dude!" Geoff would have complained had Bridgette not shushed him. Sighing, he gave in, and the four got on the ride. It was absolutely cheesy, pink lace hearts everywhere, fat little cherubs smiling from every angle…not even Small World was that creepy! But while Bridgette and Geoff cringed at how lame this ride was, Emma and Noah were cuddling, giggling and making gooey love talk.

"Geoff," Bridgette said, looking behind at them at the happy couple. "Remember when we first started dating?"

"Yeah. Why?"

Bridgette sighed, remembering how they had acted during Total Drama Action. "This…is totally something we would've loved."

Geoff's mouth hung open, then he hung his head in shame. "You're…right…."

After that gaudy Tunnel of Love was over, they got out, and Emma suddenly gasped. "Oh my God! Noah, look!" Sure enough, there was a photography area where customers could dress in old fashioned clothing.

"I've always wanted to dress like a Victorian Englishman," Noah said. The truly frightening thing was that he wasn't being his usual sarcastic self when he said that-it was 100% genuine. Bridgette and Geoff exchanged looks, but still decided to join in because it was a double date in the end. Soon they were all posed together, the girls in fancy dresses and hats, the boys in velvet tuxedos.

"Back then, we would've been all over this, too," Bridgette thought aloud. Both she and Geoff grimaced.

"Nice historical accuracy," Noah remarked, and both he and Emma imitated the grimace as the flash went off. The picture made the attendant wince, as four glum people stared back at him. As Noah and Emma bought a few, the other couple looked at the waves and sighed in longing. What else did these two lovebirds want to do?

As it turned out, _everything_. Every game? They played it, and soon everyone had to pitch in to hold plastic bags stuffed with stuffed animals (with the exception of Emma, who held the giant pink gorilla she won at the strength testing game). Every store? They went in, and Noah and Emma kept buying awful souvenirs with each other's names on them (Bridgette once again found it very uncanny). Every ride? Well no. No rollercoasters, because the thought of losing even one toy or trinket on a loop was too devastating to the young couple. So they went on the slow rides: the carousel, the haunted house, the boring boardwalk fare that Emma and Noah seemed to adore.

Finally, at day's end, when it was too late to surf anymore, they parted ways. Noah and Emma stayed behind, sharing a root beer float with two straws, and Bridgette and Geoff got on the bus home.

The two were silent for a while, and finally Geoff spoke. "So…I'm guessing they're a-"

"No! Nuh-uh, no way! I mean…I don't want to be rude, it's just…" Bridgette rubbed her arm awkwardly. "Is it rude to not want to spend Valentine's with a couple that's in the honeymoon phase without being married?"

Geoff snorted. "No way, Bridg'! Believe me, I thought we had been bad in Action! Those two took it to a whole new level. A whole weird level."

"…which is why we aren't going to be spending Valentine's with them. Or anyone we've met, right?"

Geoff sighed. "Nah, dude, I get it. These couples were all duds. But who else can we call? I mean, pretty much every couple from Total Drama broke up-even Lindsay and Tyler are Splitsville! Who can we possibly talk to?"

Bridgette tapped her fingers on the bus window, thinking it over. "Maybe…maybe that's the problem!"

"Huh?"

" _Couples_! We're so focused on getting couples!" Bridgette was shaking her head. "Sure, Carrie and Devin are nice, but really. Most couples on the show aren't that nice. They're either horrible people, like Justin and Heather, or unusual, like the Goths, or flat out mushy like Emma and Noah! Why not get a pair of close friends?"

Geoff nodded, looking relieved. "Right! But…who can we invite? Oh hey!" He picked up his phone.

"Lemme text Brody! He should know someone!" Geoff texted his friend and held his phone as he waited for a response. "Plus it'll help him take his mind off MacArthur, y'know?"

Bridgette nodded. "Poor kid, love is hard when you're that age…"

Geoff's phone vibrated, and he read the message. "'Sorry dude, have school, frowny face'-aw man!" Geoff slapped his hand to his forehead. "I forgot all about school!"

Bridgette groaned. "Great, another obstacle…do we know anyone not in school that time?"

"No dates…not in school…huh!" Geoff finally smiled. "I know just the guys to ask."

* * *

"So, you want us to come to San Francisco with you?"

Geoff and Bridgette were at a park now, sitting at a park bench with the two Geoff had decided to ask. Two people not in school, two people currently single for who knows how long…yep, Rock and Spud were their guys!

Geoff nodded, grateful that this had all finally worked out. "Yeah, dude! We have a two whole extra rooms set up-both single queen beds-"

"Aw yeah! Freddie Mercury!" Rock fist pumped and Spud joined in with a pair of devil horns. Bridgette and Geoff looked at each other.

"Yeeaaah…anyway, dudes, we looked into it, and San Francisco has, like, a lot of cool stuff to do. Pier 39, Alcatraz, the Hard Rock Cafe…"

Rock made a record scratch sound. "Hold on a sec! Did you say the Hard Rock Cafe?! Righteous!Spud and I have wanted to go there since, like, forever!"

Bridgette clasped her hands together. "So, you guys are in?!"

"Yeeeeaaaaaahh!" Rock started into an air guitar solo, and Spud nodded along. Finally, after all the dating disasters they had to endure, after the drama, the sappiness, the tattoos…it was finally at an end.

"Oh wait, Valentine's? Can't make it, man."

Or not.

Rock's jaw dropped as Spud's delayed response came at the worst possible time. "Spud! Briing, briiiing! Hold the phone, dude! What?!"

Spud sighed. "Sorry, dudes, dudette. My Uncle Riff is getting his probation that day, we were gonna hang out."

"Your Uncle Riff the Roadie?"

"That's the one! He's been serving for defecating a national park."

"Don't you mean, desecrating?" Bridgette corrected. "Defecating means…"

"Heh! Spud's uncle desecrated by-ppbbft!-defecating!" Bridgette made a face, and Rock frowned. "I get it, dude, family first. Man!" He slumped in his seat. "I was really looking forward to this…"

They sat in awkward silence for a good two minutes, and Bridgette and Geoff were just about to give up and go home when suddenly, Spud gasped. "I just got an idea! I can set you up on a blind date! I got some connections, and you can still go, Rock!"

Rock looked up, hope back in his eyes. "You'd do that…for me?! Duuuuude! This thing is back on track! Woo Woooooo!" Another air guitar solo.

Geoff beamed. "All right! When do we meet this lucky lady?"

"Why not just meet her in San Francisco?" Bridgette replied suddenly, not wanting yet another dismal date. "That way, if things don't work out, our ticket didn't go to waste, and she still gets a nice trip out of it!"

"So it really will be a surprise! Wow Spud, you came up with a rad idea!"  
Spud made sure to thank his friend for the compliment…five minutes later, of course.

* * *

Finally, the big day had arrived. Geoff and Bridgette had coached Rock in proper ways to act on a date (it really had been a long, long, _long_ time since he had been on one), and now they stood at the pizza place the Hell's Kitchen winner managed in San Francisco, ready for the moment of truth. Rock, dressed in a nice button up shirt and his only pair of jeans without holes, held a bouquet of flowers in his hand, scanning the room for his date.

"You guys really think I can pull this off?" he asked the couple.

"Think? Dude, we _know_ you can do this!" Geoff answered, trying to encourage Rock. "This vacay is gonna rock!"

"Aw yeah!" Rock started air guitaring yet again.

"Ugh!" A familiar voice scoffed behind them. "Gag me. With. A _spoon_. What are you people doing here?"

All three looked to the speaker and felt less enthusiastic. It was none other than Taylor, the daughter from the Ridonculous Race's mother-daughter duo. She looked at the three of them with disdain. "I haven't seen this much blonde since Mom's stylist spilled hair dye all over the salon."

Geoff raised an eyebrow. "Uh…huh. Uh, do you live in San Francisco?"

"As if! I'm here on vacation!"

Suddenly, all three got very, very nervous. There was no way…it couldn't be!

"Is your mom, like, here too and stuff?" Rock asked.

Taylor rolled her eyes. "Uh, no? I'm here by myself this time. That lame-o rocker guy from Ridonculous Race called me and said he wanted me to hook up with…his…friend…" She trailed off, the reality of what she had agreed to do finally hitting her. "Oh. My. GOD! I have to date _you_?!"

"How do you think _I_ feel?! Man! I should've known Spud would screw this up!"

"No way! I am out of here!" Taylor turned to leave, but stopped, putting a hand to her stomach. She looked to the kitchen, where someone had just come out with a large supreme pizza.

"Crap…today is my cheat day! Ugh! _Fine_ , whatever! I'll stay and have lunch with you losers, but that is it!" She stormed off to a table, the hostess watching her go. All three of the reality show veterans watched too.

"Dude, did you see how fast she changed her mind! She was all, "Rrrr!" Then her stomach was all, "Grr," and now she's all, "GrrrRRRROAR!" Patrons shot odd looks at Rock as he told the story. "How am I supposed to deal with that?!" Rock looked scared out of his mind, and Geoff put his hands on the rocker's shoulders.

"Come on dude, we've been training you for this! It's just one date, just one! Then she's out of your hair for good!"

Rock sighed. "Yeah, I guess. I am so killing Spud after this, though…!" Defeated before the date even started, Rock trudged to the table Taylor picked for them. Feeling for the poor guy, Geoff and Bridgette joined the already awkward table, trying to give moral support best they could.

Taylor was looking through her menu, and Rock did as well, drumming his fingers on the table. Bridgette, sitting across from him, cleared her throat. When she had his attention she nodded to the bouquet of flowers he brought in.

"Oh yeah! Hey, Taylor!" He offered the bouquet. "Sorry about all this-Spud couldn't make it so he set up a blind date so I could go."

"Hmph." Taylor gingerly took the flowers and inspected them. "I'm surprised-these don't look like they were bought in a supermarket."

Rock grinned. "No way! I went to a florist before coming here! Nice flowers for a nice date!"

Taylor set them aside. "My ex-boyfriend Chad bought me roses all the time. The thorns messed with my fingers-dead skin always peeled because of those stupid thorns! It took, like, so many spa days until I got all that junk off."

"Spas, huh? You ever get mud baths? What are those like?"

"Oh, y'know, not gross, actually. I mean, mud is totally gross but not spa mud. It's actually kinda soothing."

"Huh! I never knew mud could be so relaxing!"

"Oh yeah, totally! And like-" She stopped, staring at Rock in surprise. "Wait…you're… _listening_ to me."

"Well, yeah, dude! Why wouldn't I?"

Taylor frowned. "It's just, unless it's gossip or something, people never listen to what I have to say. And you actually ask...questions!"

Geoff and Bridgette looked at each other. Hold on. Was there something good coming from this?

"Sure! I find this stuff neat! I've never really talked to a rich girl before!"

Taylor flipped her hair. "Well, I am super rich," she said. "If I wanted, Daddy could probably buy me San Francisco."

Rock gasped. "Ka-ching! Your dad is loaded! He could own the Hard Rock Cafe!"

"Wait, what did you say?"

"Uh…ka-ching?"

"No! About the cafe!"

"Oh!" Rock slapped his forehead. "Duh! The Hard Rock Cafe, dude! An icon of rock right here in San Francisco!"

Taylor gasped. "Do…do they have Boston?"

"Whaaaaaat?! You like Boston?!"

Taylor shrugged. "Yeah, I mean, Daddy used to play their cassette tape all the time before cassettes got lame. I liked that Mary Anne song."

"More Than a Feeling?! Dude! That's a classic!" Rock stood up, one foot on the back of the chair. "More than a feeliiiiin, when I hear that old song they used to pla-a-aaaaaay-"

"Sir, please sit down!" Rock quickly sat, and everyone at the table laughed, even Taylor.

"I actually have their whole album on my iPod," he said. "You can listen if you want. Then Journey would be a good group to get you into, and maybe Chicago, and then…"

As Rock babbled on about music, Bridgette grabbed Geoff's hand. "We just made magic! Look at them!" Taylor and Rock were talking and laughing. It had been the longest Geoff had ever seen Taylor smile. Geoff leaned close to Bridgette, smiling. "Not just magic, but chemistry!" She giggled, hugging his arm.

* * *

Sure enough, the trip was a success. Taylor stayed with the group, and hung out with Rock the whole time. There was plenty of things they did as a group, though they all split off sometimes, and of course Valentine's itself they spent at the cafe Rock loved so dearly.

It was almost too good to be true, but at long last the trip had to end. They all stood in the San Francisco Airport, Taylor seeing them off, as her mother was going to meet her for a ski trip in Lake Tahoe.

"Okay, so, I entered my number on your iPhone." Taylor was helping Rock with the new phone she bought him on a shopping spree, along with new clothes and accessories ("Even if you have good music taste, you still need to look good if we're going to be seen in public."), but he kept his foot down about cutting his hair. Surprisingly, Taylor getting told no, even when holding her breath, only drew her to Rock more. "You remember how to text on this, right? God, I cannot believe you still used a flip phone!"

"Hey, that Nokia got me through high school!" Rock texted her a message to test it out. "But this one is cool!"

Taylor checked her message. "You made, like, four typos," she said, then shrugged with a smile. "You improved since yesterday."

Rock stuck his hands in his pockets. "Thanks! Uh…you sure your parents will approve of you dating me?"

"Psh, totally! I caught my mom reading some parenting book about how all girls need to pursue the wrong guy. So this'll make her feel like she's doing a good job? Whatever." Suddenly she hugged him, but pulled away a second later. "Text me when you get back." She waved to him, and pretty much ignored Geoff and Bridgette. Oh well.

Rock watched her go, then turned to Geoff and Bridgette. "Taylor! I still can't believe that! And we're hanging out later, too!"

Bridgette shrugged, smiling. "Love does work in strange ways," she said.

"And I owe it all to you guys! We totally need to set up more dates, man!" He pulled his phone out and dialed a number. "I'm just gonna call Spud, okay? Duuuuuuuuude! You're not gonna believe this…"

As Rock walked away to make his call, Geoff looked to Bridgette. "Wow that went great! I'm actually…kinda surprised!"

"Yeah, no kidding. But I'm happy for those two-they seem so happy together."

"Yeah," Geoff kissed the top of Bridgette's head, arm around her waist. "Love ya, babe. Happy Valentine's Day."

"It's the sixteenth now, silly," she teased.

"Well then...happy sixteenth of February!" Bridgette laughed and pulled him to her, kissing him on the lips, Rock still on the phone to his buddy, making plenty of sound effects to tell his story.


End file.
